13 ways to say I love you with 13 people you'd love to hear it from.

1. Arabic
Ana behibak (female to male)
Ana Behibek (male to female)

Odd homoeroticism aside that fellow with his back to us...wow. Nice back dude.


2. Brazilian (Portuguese)- Eu te amo (pronounced "eiu chee amu")



3. Bulgarian----Obicham te
As te obeicham
As te obicham

Nothing like a fierce looking foreign guy to get the blood pumping. :)


4. Chinese---- Ngo oi ney (Cantonese)
Wo oi ney (Cantonese)
Wo ai ni (Mandarin)
Wo ie ni (Mandarin)
Wuo ai nee (Mandarin)
Wo ay ni (Mandarin)


5. Dutch--Ik hou van je
Ik hou van jou

6. French----Je t'aime (I love you)
Je t'adore (I adore you)


7. German--Ich liebe dich (classic & conservative)
Ich hab dich lieb

Just tell me this guy isn't hot, leiderhosen aside.


8. Greek---S'ayapo (spoken s'agapo)


9. Hebrew-- Ani ohevet otcha (female to male)
Ani ohev otach (male to female)



10. Italian----Ti amo (relationship - lover or spouse)
Ti voglio bene (between friends)
Ti voglio (strong sexual meaning of desire)


11. Irish----

Taim i' ngra leat

I don't get the game but it doesn't make these guys any less hot.


12. Russian---Ya tyebya lyublyu



Why pick just one?


13. Spanish---Te amo
Te quiero (I want you)
Te adoro (I adore you)
Te deseo (I desire you)
Me antojis (I crave you)



Enjoy it. :)

13 Reasons Why I Should Have Just Taken The Boy To Chuck E Cheese.

So both of my children are having birthdays. The boy's is Sunday and E's is just slightly after that. He wants an Egypt party so, like any mother that arbitrarily spoils her children, I'm giving him an Egypt party. I've been so consumed planning this party, which will occur Saturday, that I actually forgot today was Thursday. And when I remembered all I could still think about was the boy's party.

So I made the decision to make a list of why I maybe shouldn't have done this.

1. I didn't prepare in time so there was no time to buy anything off the internet. And most places just don't sell Egyptian things. Including Hobby Lobby who apparently doesn't sell ankh charms because they're "a Christian store."




2. Children bite. But the people at Chucky E Cheese get paid to get bitten. I don't.



3. It would have cost approximately the same as it does to host an archaeological dig in your back yard. But you also get pizza.


4. Did I mention you get pizza?


5. I don't have to run the game at Chucky's place. Although, sadly, no matter how cool our games are they can't compare to skee ball.


6. Did I mention that Chucky's got skee ball? I love skee ball.


7. Paid additional babysitters included in the cost.

8. I wouldn't have to use my brain to plan that one. I think my brain is melting with this Egyptian party.


9. It's very difficult to find things to put in an Egyptian treat bag. Do six-year-olds like snakes?


10. I will probably have sand in my living room for months.


11. I will not look as good as this chick in my costume.


12. No matter if I put in this much work or no work the kids will all end up thankless and crying.


13. Did I mention the skee ball?!!

In honor of Valentine's Day

In honor of the big V I've composed the following thirteen versions of famous poems about love that tell it more like it really is. Credit goes to Sela who gave me this idea by saying number one, verbatim.

1 "She walks in beauty like...a well-groomed standard poodle."

2. "When love is in excess it brings a man no honor nor...the ability to pay his bills."

3. "There is no remedy for love but...seven children."



4. "designer shoes..is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love."


5. "To love is to receive a glimpse of...cellulite."


6. "Learning to love yourself is the greatest...way to get a free orgasm."




7. "love is not love which alters when it...love handles finds."



8. "There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the...brain."



9. "The kind of beauty I want most is the hard-to-get kind that comes from...Beverly Hills doctors."



10. "Beauty is truth, truth beauty, --that is all...the ugly people tell themselves."





11. "Beauty is a form of genius...especially if you lack any other form."




12. "At the touch of love everyone becomes...stupid."



13. "The course of true love never did...require a pre-nup."



Have a happy Valentines Day!!